45

Deet pulled on his cup of coffee. "Welcome," he said to his writers affectionately as they began to trickle in for the writers' meeting. "Where's Klausthaler?"

"He isn't going to be able to make it," George Meyer said. "He's home sick."

"Okay. That's too bad. Well, boys, I've been working like there's no tomorrow and I'd like to read you some of the new stuff. Then you can tell me what you think of it."

He glanced at the nodding heads.

"We begin on Sparko, lying in his bed of acorns. He bolts awake and sniffs the air.

"'What's happened to the air?' he says out loud.

"There's something wrong with the air. Okay, then he jumps out of bed and goes over to his TV set, which is made out of grass and leaves. Only an inventor like Owl could build a TV out of grass and leaves. Sparko asked him for one, and he made it.

"Okay. Sparko turns on his TV. He catches this anchor in mid-sentence, talking about a press conference earlier in the day. The camera is showing us the TV screen. First we see the anchor, then we see the TV footage of the press conference that the anchor is talking about. There are six people sitting at a long bench, like a jury box. They are wearing these purple robes with a crimson sash down one arm. Each outfit has an icon. Eyes, ears, nose, mouth, hands and the sixth one has this symbol which we don't explain right away but which Sparko finds out later stands for, uh, sixth sense, or the mind's eye.

"The Mouth is this fat bird with a long beak and a shorn head who is talking to the camera.

"'Welcome,' he says. 'I am the Mouth. I'd like to welcome you to your new life. We will be taking care of each of you. You are to follow instructions. The new government of the Serpentines has assumed power, and in power we shall remain. We have a special place set aside for each of you, and you shall obey.'

"By this time, Sparko is gradually getting the impression that the Serpentines have taken over, or staged a coup, or something. We have a couple of camera shots of Sparko looking angry.

"The Mouth goes on talking. 'You will obey all instructions. As of now, all televisions are to be left on at all times.'"

George Meyer looked George Evans in the eye questioningly.

"Okay," Deet said. He held up a finger to signify "Wait 'til you hear this!"

"Sparko scoffs at the TV and switches it off. An alarm goes off in the distance. Sparko looks around his house to try to find the origin of the alarm, and he can't. He hollers out in frustration, 'Stop it!'

"Hmm," Meyer said, interrupting Deet's monologue. "So you've only been rolling five minutes and you're hollering already?"

Deet blinked at him.

"Don't you want to spread it out a little?"

Deet just paused, and went on talking.

"The alarm noise gradually changes into this piano ballad. An African-American guy of about 25 or 30, peers in Sparko's window. Sparko recognizes him from the TV. He's got the purple gown with the stripe and he's wearing the icon of the Ear.

"'You have nowhere to run,' says the Ear.

"'What do you want?' cries Sparko.

"'Your house is our house,' says the Ear calmly.

"'Go to hell!' says Sparko. The Ear raises a finger. Sparko clutches his ears in pain -- he falls to his knees, struck by piercing screams in his eardrums.

"The Ear tells Sparko, 'You have been assigned to help the Nose.'

"Sparko is in such agony that he is unable to answer. The Ear just blinks, right at the camera.

Deet stopped for breath. "Okay. We start a new scene and we see Sparko and now he's wearing the purple gown with the maroon armband. He's gone through re-education and he works for the Nose. The Nose is like a giant treadmill. This is how they get fuel for their other projects. People, animals, are tossed around from place to place as though they're nothing but tiny particles, like motes of dust that you inhale into your nose.

"And you know, this is a real phenomenon. Not many people know this, that when you take about 10,000 living creatures and whip them around from place to place like the Peoplemover at Disneyland, or like a treadmill, it gives off a form of energy. And the energy can turn a turbine, and the turbine can be used to generate electricity. You just have to keep all the little people all rolling around in their circle because if too many of them try to stray, it doesn't work anymore."

The Georges were speechless.

"Sparko's been re-educated now, and he likes it just fine. We show him doing his work, which is basically just to walk in a big circle in a long, long line, and not get in anyone's way. And that's the end of Sparko."

The Georges were a little agitated.

"Um, David," Evans said. "This is just a proposal, right?"

"No, we're doing it. Third show, seventh season. Next season."

"But, um, what about the whole Sparko thing? Or, uh, he comes back? Is he like a ... freedom fighter or a dissident or something?"

"You know, George," Deet said, "sometimes servitude is actually a greater freedom. I think today the Wizard Star audience needs to know that. Don't you?"

Evans shuffled his feet.

"Well," Deet continued, nodding. "It's my show, and we're doing it."

"It's, um-" Meyer began. He looked at Evans and Evans nodded. "Well, it doesn't sound very commercial."

"It's not very consistent with last season," Evans said.

Deet nodded. "Nevertheless, we're doing it. Shall we move on?"