28

Deet had opted for frugality by not hiring an assistant to clack the clacker.

Deet was a great believer in the power of ignorance. He was a film and TV director, an American citizen, born in England and currently working in Norway on a production that he considered his baby. Wizard Star.

"Places, people!" Deet shielded his eyes from the sun with his hand. "Attention cast and crew! I'm going to get some coffee! Does anybody need anything from the store?"

A gofer called Chet got Deet's attention.

"Mr. Deet, I, um - that isn't how it's done, sir. You don't need to do that. You can get someone to do that for you."

"Chet, I think you'll find I don't pay too much attention to the protocol of how things are done. Because-" he put his arm around the awed lackey, a film nerd who looked ecstatic to be present. "It can actually slow you down, sometimes, to know too much."

Chet nodded.

"Do you know what I mean?" Deet asked, his gravelly voice rasping, his acolytes swooning even harder when they heard his voice. "You know, because, like, let's say I have to do a scene with a horse."

Deet never missed an opportunity to spread the word about his pet theories.

"And my script says it's an Arabian horse. But I'm on a budget, so when I go get a horse to use in my movie, I wind up with some mutt horse who no one knows just who its parents are or where they were from."

Chet nodded, mute.

"I'll just get my characters talking about 'What a peculiar Arabian horse, I never saw any Arabian horse quite like this one.'

'But are you absolutely sure it's an Arabian?'" Deet said in a high voice.

He's dropping into character again, Chet thought.

"'Oh yes, Master Sparko, I'm quite sure.'"

Spark was one of the most popular characters in the Wizard Star franchise and Chet began to wonder whether Deet was plain bats. Apparently this is how he wrote new scripts - he would start talking in character and someone around him would either record him or write it all down, and he would go into a sort of trance state. The blasts of creation could go on for a day, and as someone in his team of supporters inevitably grabbed some sandwiches, he would turn around and integrate the theme of 'dinner' into what he was writing.

"So what do you think of Norway so far?" came a voice.

"Oh Marcia!" cried Deet. "What a pleasant surprise! Kid, take her coat! Do you know who this is? President Brundtland! Are you Norwegian, kid?"

Without waiting for a reply, he turned to Marcia to answer her question. "You know, honestly Marcia, it's been like a layover at Heathrow so far. I haven't really gotten out in the countryside."

He added, apologetically, "in fact, yeah, I can't say as I've really left the globalization zone. I've been taking the limo from the Hyatt, out here to my hangar, working all day, then taking the limo back to the Hyatt. For all I know, I may as well have been shooting in Wichita so far."

Marcia nodded diplomatically.

"Well, we are very happy to have you here in our country. I have some exciting news."

"What?" asked Deet.

"I got the WHO job!" Marcia's term of office would end in six weeks, and she had tried out for the job vacancy at the World Health Organization.

"Congratulations!" shouted Deet, and they hugged, kissing each others' cheeks. "I'm a bit disappointed to be getting Wizard Star, to be getting a director of your caliber here so late in my term, but my successor will have a great little public relations boon for Norway, to kick off her term."

Deet nodded. He stroked his chin and began circling Marcia in a way that made her nervous. Anxious.

"You know," he said. "I need a woman of your ... stature."

Marcia mock gasped.

"Now look," Deet closed his eyes, distracted. "I want you to play Megan, the walking, talking, igneous rock."

Marcia chuckled.

"Mr. Deet, I am afraid I will not be able to participate in your production. I haven't the time. I leave office in six weeks, and I am expected at WHO six weeks after that. I will be moving to Geneva and helping with the transition team."

Deet was nodding. "Well, I knew you'd be busy, But have you considered it as a PR feather in your cap? Or for that matter, as a feather in your PR cap? Gro Harlem Brundtland making a cameo appearance in an episode of Wizard Star? Wizard Star is pretty popular, you know, and the kids might really get a kick out of it, and get curious about Norway. This could be just what you've been waiting for!"

Marcia gritted her teeth in mock consternation. "Oo," she said, "You're wearing away at my defenses, David." She put her backhand on her forehead. "I don't know, you're definitely on to something. How long do you think it would take?"

"Marcia, I'd rearrange my shooting schedule and put all your scenes together. I think we could do it in a single day."

"Errr."

He smiled.

"Errr, okay!"

He literally jumped up and down and danced around the room. "La la la, Gro Harlem Brundtland is going to be in my movie, la la la!"